


Cradle

by optieteri



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: 5+1 Things, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, I Tried, M/M, Slow Romance, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-19 15:59:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12413343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/optieteri/pseuds/optieteri
Summary: Five times Ludger and Jude loved holding each other, and the one time they hated it.





	1. Support

It all started when Jude had simply tripped on his own feet.

“W-Woah!” Jude gasped.

Ludger was quick to act. Immediately, he moved in front of Jude and caught the other’s shoulders, a look of concern taking over his expression. “Are you alright?” Ludger said.

His mind, however, seemed to go blank as he felt Jude’s lab coat under his hands. _Whoa, soft . . . !_ Ludger couldn’t help but feel elated with a sense of childish happiness. He rubbed his hands on the fabric a little, amazed at how it felt softer than Rollo’s fur. It was like petting a giant ball of cotton.

Jude had to take a deep breath before his eyes slowly opened to reveal a soft amber color. He seemed to be unaware of Ludger’s antics. “Huh?” Jude blinked, his gaze moving from his feet to Ludger’s chest. “O-Oh! Yeah, I’m okay.”

Fixing his feet, Jude shuffled away, leaving Ludger no choice but to drop his hands back to his sides if he didn’t want to seem . . . creepy. Jude gave Ludger a small smile. “Thanks. I guess I’m just a little tired after that fight. But let’s keep going.”

Forgetting all about Jude’s lab coat, Ludger’s eyebrows furrowed in worry as Jude began to sway. “Jude, you should take a break. You’ve been working really hard for all these jobs."

“A break?” Jude repeated, as if he hadn’t heard that word in a long time. _Which he probably hasn’t_ , Ludger inwardly sighed. “That’s nice of you, Ludger, but I’ll be fine. Trust me, I’ve run on as little as two hours of rest before back in the lab, so I’m sure I can handle myself until we get on that train to Helioborg or Marksburg.”

When Ludger continued to look doubtful, Jude shook his head before looking at the ground. “What about you?” He added as his eyelids began to droop. “Aren’t you tired? Considering all that you’ve been through, I think you deserve some down-time the most.”

Ludger shrugged, though he had to admit his body was beginning to feel heavy with exhaustion. But then Elle came up to them with a bounce in her step. With all that energy in her, it was like looking at the sun itself in their weary state; however, that couldn’t stop the smiles from tugging on Jude and Ludger’s lips.

Elle’s hands were behind her back as she laughed. “Ludger, Jude! Check out what I found!" She grinned proudly and revealed her hands holding something quite dirty and dull. “Look, it’s some gald! We’ll be able to lift our debt in no time if we keep this up!”

As Elle shoved the money into Ludger’s shirt pocket, the twenty-year old could only smile exasperatedly and ruffle Elle’s hair. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, well, you’re welcome!” Elle let out a small pout. “I mean, I can’t just let you and Jude do all the work!” Elle, deciding that Ludger didn’t need any more talking-to, turned to Jude, who was simply watching them with amusement. She reached out and gripped his white lab coat, only hesitating slightly. “Jude?”

“Yes, Elle?”

“Your lab coat’s really soft. Also, you look tired.” Elle dead-panned. Rollo pawed at the bottom of Jude’s coat and meowed in agreement.

“It’s because Jude needs to _rest_.” Ludger stood up and crossed his arms.

Jude scratched the back of his head. “N-No, I’m sure I always look tired. But it’s fine, we should really be working on finding Julius—”

“No way Jude!” Elle huffed and copied Ludger’s stance, standing next to the man. Jude blinked at how menacing the two looked—maybe he really did need some sleep. “We can’t do anything if you’re too sleepy! And . . . And you can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first. That’s what my daddy told me. He even said that he learned it from his friend who was an expert doctor!"

Jude was about to protest again, but seeing the concerned yet stern looks on the two’s faces, he decided to give up with a sigh. “Alright, you guys win. But you know, there aren’t any places where we can take a break anyways. How about I close my eyes for a bit when we get on a train?

Hearing those words made Elle frown in thought. “Hm . . . Hey, you could always just sit down and rest somewhere?”

“Huh?”

“Yeah! Right . . .” Elle trailed off, scanning the area. “Oh! Over there, on that rock!” Elle pointed behind Jude, prompting him to turn around to see a fairly large and flat boulder some distance away.

“Um . . . I guess.” Jude said lamely.

“Alright! C’mon Jude!” Elle took Jude’s hand and began to drag him abruptly, making Jude yelp and stumble along.

“O-Okay, calm down a little Elle!”

Ludger slowly followed the two with a fond chuckle leaving his lips. _Hm, they’re kinda cute._

“Ludger, hurry up!” Elle shouted from afar.

Ludger sighed. “Mhm.”

He quickly strode over to Elle and Jude, who was currently being forced to sit down onto a rock by his shoulders. Rollo, who was already lounging next to him, let out a purr. “E-Elle, I’m okay now. Please—”

“Ludger, make sure he goes to sleep, okay!?” Elle demanded. She picked up Rollo and they both intensely stared him down.

Ludger reeled back from his surprise and nodded.“Y-Yeah, okay.”

“Would you like to nap with me, Elle?” Jude, accepting his fate at this point, awkwardly placed his hands in his lap with a shy smile. Rollo meowed at him.

Elle shrugged. “Nah, I’m gonna look for more gald. Nighty-night Jude!”

“Wait, Elle . . . !” Jude lowered his outstretched hand, staring at the empty air that he now faced. Hesitantly, he looked up at Ludger, concern taking over. “Do—Do you think she’ll be okay without someone watching her?”

Ludger blinked and seemed to think for a few seconds before nodding. He plopped down next to Jude. “I’ll make sure she doesn’t go too far. Just focus on getting some rest.”

“Uh, right. Though I’m not really sure if I can do that like this . . .” Jude shuffled uncomfortably. The rock felt cold and hard pressed against his thighs, and though his mind was screaming for him to sit on his lab coat, the fashionista in him refused. He couldn't afford to walk around in a dirty coat.

However, Ludger seemed to think the opposite. As he stared at Jude, he mused, _That coat would be a great blanket._

After an awkward minute passed by, Ludger scratched the back of his head. “Um, how about just closing your eyes for now? Maybe you’ll drift off, then.” He suggested.

Jude pondered this for a moment before nodding. “Okay.”

His eyes drifted shut while a focused frown began to form. Jude said nothing the whole time as he tried to relax despite his body doing the exact opposite, his shoulders eventually tensing as well. And even if his body were to start feeling heavy, his mind would still be wide-awake with a blinding flurry of thoughts. He felt self-conscious knowing that Ludger's eyes were on him. He felt an ache starting in his arms from suddenly using them to fight again after a year. He felt . . . hungry.

“Jude, you look more stressed than before.”

“Huh?” Jude reopened his eyes, shooting a dejected look a Ludger. “Oh, sorry. I’ll try again.”

Ludger shook his head, and then pat his shoulder.

Jude immediately understood, but hesitated. “Um, are you sure?”

“Of course. It’s not a problem.” Ludger gestured to his shoulder again.

Jude bit his lip. “If you say so.”

Slowly, Jude leaned onto Ludger, though he refused to lay any of his weight on him as he watched Elle search the dirt nearby. Ludger felt his shoulder tingle with a nervous spark at the feeling of Jude’s soft hair gently pressing against his shirt. He tried ignoring the feeling, but his attempts ended up leading him to think about recent events.

It was then that Ludger let out the deepest sigh Jude had ever heard.

“Ludger? Is something up?”

Ludger shook his head. “It’s nothing. Just been a long day, like you said.” He looked as if he wanted to put his head in his hands, but he kept still. “Are you okay? You’re not cold, right?”

“Oh, I’m fine, thanks. This lab coat’s keeping me pretty warm. But you know, I can watch over Elle while you rest.” Jude offered a smile, but his eyes were wistful as he moved his gaze from his lap to Ludger’s. “I’m still really sorry that I can’t help more. It must suck to have that big of a problem on your shoulders,” he sympathized.

Before Ludger could reply, Jude continued without looking at him. “But trust me, it’s always better to handle big problems with your friends. Doing it alone won’t help anything. One . . . One year ago, I once felt hopelessly lost, too. If my friend hadn’t been there for me . . . I wouldn’t be where I am now.” Jude sighed and slumped against Ludger, forgetting his discomfort. “So please remember to rely on me and Elle if you feel the slightest need for help, ‘kay? We’ll both do as much as we can. And I’ll make sure . . . I’ll make sure you don’t ever lose your way, like I almost did.”

Ludger felt a wave of relief wash over him. “Thank you, Jude. That means a lot.”

“Of—” Jude abruptly stopped with a small sneeze, blinking before he continued. “Of course. But, I just made things awkward, didn’t I? S-Sorry, I know that was really bold of me.”

Ludger chuckled as Jude’s cheeks flushed. “How old are you anyways?”

A beat passed. Jude’s heavy eyelids slid shut. “Mm, sixteen.”

“Six—!” Ludger paused at the sound of Jude’s light breathing suddenly filling the air. Immediately, he felt inclined to keep the silence between them as all of his words died in his throat.

_I remember when I was sixteen. I was nothing like Jude . . . Ah man, it's so quiet._ Ludger observed. _I almost want to pass out. But I have to watch Elle._

As his stare became fixed on Elle scavenging the ground with Rollo, Ludger hesitantly lifted an arm to loosely wrap around Jude’s back. His hand rested on the well-built shoulder of Jude, locking the doctor in place next to him as he began to quietly hum his favorite tune. Ludger found himself wishing for more moments like these. Where things felt completely safe, like those times he and Julius would go grocery shopping, or when Ludger would cook for them both as his brother played with Rollo in an attempt to get some pounds off the cat.

_Julius . . ._ Ludger frowned. Immediately, his thoughts became a muddled sea about his brother. In the middle of his thinking, however, one thing was clear: Jude’s snoring sounded like Rollo’s. And even though it didn’t sound that cute, Ludger still let out a content sigh.

(Ludger would never know what happened during that small break, when he eventually drifted off as Jude awoke. He would never know how Jude smiled at Ludger’s arm wrapped around his back before moving his own hand to hold Ludger’s shoulder, sending a message of gratitude by draping his lab coat over Ludger’s lap.)


	2. Healing

Fighting Volt had certainly been a shock for everyone, especially when no one was sure how or why the spyrite was activated. But there was no time to dwell on that, not when Volt struck Elle with fear and Rollo with actual lightning.

(Alvin was having a blast with these puns in his head. He was smart enough to not say them out loud though.)

Ludger, with his face twisted into pure fury, charged right into a fight with Volt. Jude and Alvin joined him while Elize stayed back to heal everyone as they fought, seeing as Volt showed an impressive strength. There were mobs as well, and though that had made things harder for everyone, overtime Volt became their only focus. Ludger’s attacks became more wild, more focused on Volt and how _Rollo better be okay_ —so much that he only noticed Jude’s sudden absence from the fight until he heard a blood-curdling cry pierce the air.

“ _Jude!_ ” Alvin screamed. He turned away from Volt, only to curse as a bolt of lightning grazed his arm.

Alvin grit his teeth before spotting Ludger who looked to be at a loss of what to do. Alvin barked, “I’ll take care of this! Go—” he stopped to shoot at Volt, delaying an attack. “—Go make sure Jude is okay!”

Ludger hesitated slightly before nodding. He had felt torn between staying to fight and leaving Alvin behind to check on Jude, but with Alvin’s command, his feet moved by themselves. Rushing over to the edge of the chaos while putting his guns into their holsters, Ludger’s breath hitched at the sight that welcomed him.

There laid Jude on his back, his eyes squeezed shut and his expression pained. Each breath he took was wild, shaky, and uneven—they sounded more like gasps for air. The way Jude’s hands were spread out suggested that the hit had made him roll a few feet before he finally came to a stop. Hovering over him was Elize with her shaky hands glowing, and she looked as scared as Ludger felt.

“Ludger!” Elle called when she saw him. The eight-year old was kneeling near Jude as well, and apparently she had carried Rollo with her as the cat was still unconscious by her side.

Elize glanced up. Ludger could see the panic in her eyes for that brief moment before she bowed her head back down. “You need to help Jude calm down, Ludger!” Elize pleaded. “His heart, it’s— it’s too fast! He . . .” She trailed off, biting her lip as she healed Jude’s burns.

The agent didn’t waste anymore time. Immediately, his arms were wrapping around Jude in a secure hold, the doctor’s upper body placed on his lap. One of Ludger’s arms supported Jude’s head while the other wrapped around Jude’s stomach. And when Ludger felt the teen’s heartbeat he jerked away because its speed _scared_ him.

“He pushed me away,” Elize explained quietly. Somewhere off in the distance, Ludger could hear the loud sounds of Alvin fighting Volt, but it was Elize’s voice that shook Ludger’s core. “I was busy casting a healing arte, a-and I didn’t see . . . But Jude, Jude pushed me away . . .”

“He saved Elize!” Teepo tearfully added.

Elle looked at Jude, sadness in her green eyes. “Ludger?” said Elle. “Jude’s not gonna die, is he?”

Ludger shook his head. “No.”

He looked down at Jude, whose expression turned from pain to panic the moment his eyes popped open. “L-L-Lud—” Jude gasped and clenched his eyes shut. A scream tore through his throat as he desperately thrashed in Ludger’s hold. “ _Hurts!_ ”

“Ludger! Calm him down!” Elize urged.

With a hand on Jude’s heart, Ludger took his own deep breath to steady himself. “Jude. Jude, listen.” Ludger’s hand gently slid up from Jude’s chest to his cheek. The doctor’s eyes peeked open, his chest continuing to move up and down, up and down . . .

“Focus on my eyes.” Ludger murmured softly. He shifted his legs to make Jude’s head rest on his thighs.

The younger man had no choice but to follow Ludger's command. Jude was faintly aware of what was happening to him, and he knew that if he didn’t stop his heart now, then he would probably die. And though Elize always had her Resurrection arte, they all knew that dying wasn’t that great of an experience in the first place.

Jude remembered the first time his dead body hit the floor. He remembered hearing the panicked screams around him fade. He remembered how his body felt numb and how his mind felt muddled and blank when he was revived. His heartbeat felt normal, yet _unnatural_ , like it was confused as to why it was beating again.

Shakily, Jude forced himself to take a deep breath. If he didn't help himself now, then he would continue to be a burden, and he knew that he _could not do that right now_. Not when they were going against a spirit as strong as Volt. His friends needed him. He needed to get up.

_You swore that you would stop being a burden, didn't you?_

_Yes, that's right._

_. . . But isn't it okay to be unable to do some things?_

Jude closed his eyes and pushed those thoughts out. Later, he could think of that later.

After deepening his breaths, Jude’s heart felt just a little less erratic and settled for a more fluttery feeling. He could feel the pain in his arms and abdomen fade, the soothing touch of Elize’s magic reaching him. His toes uncurled. Slowly, his eyes began to blink normally after what felt like forever, and then . . .

_Jude really saw Ludger._

He blushed at the sight of Ludger’s emerald eyes unmoving from him. It's color burned his soul, everything else wiping away, until he could see that intense and worried gaze in the back of his eyelids. His head reeled back to the green skies of Fennmont with its soft lights glowing everywhere—that was Ludger’s eyes.

_Ludger . . . his eyes have a golden ring inside._ Jude’s breath hitched. _Whoa._

However, his fantasy broke when Ludger shook him and those eyes became desperate. “Jude! C’mon, breathe!”

He gasped for air, only to finally hear the sound of gunshots drumming in his ears. “Alvin, Volt . . .” he groaned.

“It’s okay.” Ludger held Jude’s face so that the younger man wouldn’t see Elize quickly throw an Melange gel to Alvin before resting her palms on the concrete, exhausted. “Focus on breathing, okay? For eight seconds, breathe in slowly . . .”

Ludger had to help Jude a couple times before he could actually breathe in properly, albeit with a shaking chest. “Great, now . . . Exhale, slowly. You can do it, Jude.”

He covered Jude’s ears so the battle behind him wouldn’t invade Jude’s world of peace and quiet. Elize started up her healing again. Elle clutched Rollo tighter.

“Keep breathing, Jude.”

Jude’s shining amber eyes flickered at him from their blank stare at the sky. He sluggishly lifted up his arm, their burns healing, and placed his hand flat on Ludger’s heart.

_Oh, no. That’s_ . . . Ludger gulped and hoped he wasn’t blushing, especially at a time like this.

The doctor’s eyes lidded as he continued to match Ludger’s breathing, every attempt easier than the last. All four of them stayed in that moment, stuck in time until—

“ _LUDGER! Watch out!_ ”

Ludger wasn’t fast enough. He could only turn his head to see the incoming bolt of lightning before it hit him straight in the head.

 

 

 

 

At least, it was supposed to.

His vision was failing him; everything happened too fast for his eyes. Ludger felt someone pull him down to the ground, but he didn’t see the how the world around him shifted into a blur in that moment. He heard someone yelling, but he couldn’t see who. He felt a hard surface, covered by some soft garment . . .

Slowly, Ludger blinked his eyes open, and was met with Jude’s tired yet bright gaze. He moved around his hands, balling and opening his fists. He touched the concrete, so he tried to pinpoint where his legs were. _Oh_ , Ludger thought. He was still kneeling, but Jude had pulled his upper-body down to him.

Ludger lifted his head from Jude's chest, only for their faces to end up  _extremely_ close. Not to mention how Jude was panting with a slightly flushed face.

“Are—Are you . . . ?” The question faded from Ludger’s lips as he scrambled to hold himself up on his elbows.

“Are you okay?” Jude breathed out.

Ludger could only stare at him before a smile began to spread. “Yeah. You saved me, Jude. Thank you.”

The other weakly smiled back. Jude blinked, once, and then twice, before his eyes slipped shut and his arms wrapped around Ludger’s shoulders fell limp next to his sides.

“Jude!” Elle gasped.

“It’s okay! He’s just tired now. He’s okay again, Ludger . . . Thank you, so much!” Elize sobbed, bowing her head with a happy smile. “Thank you.”

Teepo floated over Ludger's head in circles. "Whenever you need healing, Elly's got it for you! That's what friends are for!"

Ludger smiled. "Thanks."

“Augh . . .” Ludger felt something clutch his shirt. He looked down and saw Jude barely able to keep his eyes on him. “Wait, Ludger . . . Alvin, he needs help . . .”

Elize looked at him. “Jude’s right, Ludger. Volt isn’t finished yet. We’ll be here, so don’t worry about Jude. He’ll be okay again soon. Oh, and Teepo!”

“You’ll need these gels, pal!” Teepo flew above him and dropped a brown sack on his head.

“. . . Thanks.” Ludger looked at Jude one last time before sliding his legs out from under him, every touch lingering until he was standing up again, guns in hand.

"No! I-Let me help!" Jude cried. His elbow lifted his upper-body as he reached a hand out towards Ludger, but his body fell back to the floor before his legs could even move.

Ludger started toward him again, though he stopped when he saw Elize lift Jude's head and set his head down on Teepo. "Don't, Jude! You took a big hit. Ludger and Alvin got this." She sent a confident smile at him.

“You can do it Ludger! Go bully that guy!” Elle encouraged.

Ludger nodded and set off, his eyes burning with newfound determination. With his friends cheering him on, how could he lose?

 

 

 

Then Alvin fell by his feet, unconscious.

Ludger looked back and saw Elize hide a giggle before shooing him away. Yeah, she got this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, if you could, I would love it if you had some feedback for me! This chapter felt hard to get out, so I'd like to know what you guys think should be improved along with what I'm doing well. Thanks for reading! ^^


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